Disciplining In Public

This post comes after our shopping trip to Takashimaya yesterday in which my dear daughter succeeded in bringing down one of the manequins in the store and breaking it to pieces!

You can imagine my rage, embarressment and dismay. I just turned my back on the little girl to pick something out in those trolleys displaying their wares and then in that few seconds of neglect, there was a thunderous sound of something crashing to the floor. I turn around to see the girl visibly stunned with the pieces of the manequin scattered at her feet.

My first reaction was to scream at her. "Janiiiine!!!! What did u do!???!" I was standing there deciding whether to smack her good and proper there and then or continue to rage at her. Then the nice salesgirl who was assisting me tells me, " It's OK madam, kids are like that, don't scold her in public"

A lot of thoughts coursed through my mind immediately by her that one statement

"Kids are like that"

WHAT!! You mean to tell me that that its OK for children to go around breaking things in shopping centres / public places? That such errant behviour in children is excuseable?

Do parents of this day and age subscribe to this kind of mentality that damaging a few things along the way is OK because "kids are like that"? And then if I don't agree with that kind of thinking does that make me a weirdo? Already as it is, I find myself being overly strict with the little girl. Like I will scold her if she takes too long to follow my intruction or smack her hands ever so often when she takes things other than her toys to play. Am I being an overly strict and fiercesome mother because I expect and demand that my daughter (and other children in future) to behave themselves in public (like no running around like some wild thing, no touching or pulling things down from the shelf)?

"Don't scold her in public"

Am I making a scene of myself if I were to discipline her there and then? And then I wonder about all the other times in the past when I scolded / smacked her in public for her misbehaviour. Do I look like some horrible, bad tempered, impatient, mad, deranged, unloving mother?

Am I hurting her pride (like what all those good parenting books will caution us)? Will such incidents scar her for the rest of her life? Is she going to grow up with some serious emotional hang ups all because her mommy lost her cool and smacked her in front of strangers?

But then if you don't address the issue there and then, then when? I don't expect a 2 year old to relate the punishment that she will be receiving at home to the incident that happened a few hours ago. I just feel that such method of disciplining just won't be effective enough.

And then, if I were to subscribe to that mentality that "its ok, kids are like that" and not discipline her, will I become a mother who can't control her child? I could already feel the looks of disapproval from the salesgirls who tried to piece the broken manequin together. I can almost hear them going "aiyoh...this mother ah, dunno how to control her child, tsk tsk". It totally didn't help that one of the sales girl, while picking up the pieces, kept looking at Janine @.@

After what that sales lady said, all I could do was just to glower at the little gir. I restrained myself from going further into a screaming rage (which in any other circumstances would definitely have happened).

To her merit, the little girl KNEW she did something wrong because once she got her senses back she was apologising rather profusely "Sorry mommy, I'm sorry mommy, sorry sorry..." and then as if wanting the reassurance that she was forgiven, she kept asking to be carried "carry mommy, I'm sorry mommy, carry carry".

Thankfully I wasn't asked to pay for the broken manequin. But I am left somewhat perplexed by the whole incident. I am still reflecting on my actions / lack of action for yesterday and wondering just how in future I should react if the girl misbehaves again (which I am sure WILL happen). I am also wondering if I did / not do something for the girl for her to be misbehaving like that?

Sigh...the woes of a mommy.